As another year winds down, I find myself contemplating plans and goals for 2022. I feel as if I have been in a fog for the past few years with the Covid pandemic looming constantly overhead. I have never felt quite so stalled as I have these past few years; I wonder if this is true for others as well. With so much of our daily lives changing and actually coming to a screeching halt in 2020, I have not allowed myself to create expectations for fear of extreme disappointment as outside forces threaten to eliminate all of the routines and patterns I have come to expect and thrive within.
I have had several goals to accomplish within my mind, such as organizing my home, weeding out clutter, and becoming more consistent with my writing, among other things. The problem is, I have not taken any tangible steps to create habits that will make these goals attainable.
If I am completely honest, I cannot blame all of this on Covid. I have two new circumstances in my life which are contributing to my lack of focus. First, I have been experiencing the brain fog which comes from the hormonal changes of menopause. While I had hoped to escape this, unfortunately, I have not been able to come out unscathed. I did try some hormone replacement therapy which helped for a while, but hormones continue to change, and sometimes we have to follow up and make changes in our treatment methods, which I will be doing very soon. Second, I became an empty nester in August, and I have so much time on my hands now. One would think this would increase productivity, but I have found it to have the opposite effect. I have not worked outside the home in a full-time position since my oldest daughter was born, and since then, my focus has been on raising my children and caring for my family and home. I used to be so organized and had many volunteer commitments when my daughters lived at home, but now that I have much more time on my hands and less required of me, I find myself to be less productive than ever. I am so frustrated by this, and it has to change!
My first steps for the new year will include purchasing a new planner (I tried a digital planner this past year, but I miss the physical paper planner) and filling in all of the commitments I am aware of currently. I have been spending some time researching how other women set their goals and how to plan daily tasks in order to create habits. Until recently, I have not spent time learning about goal setting, and I believe this has contributed to the condition described in the 1967 booklet, Tyranny of the Urgent, by Charles Hummel. He wrote about the tension between things that are urgent and things that are important. We often sacrifice important things in order to react to urgent things. But Hummel warned that “your greatest danger is letting the urgent things crowd out the important.” I know I have experienced this personally, and it contributes to the feeling that I am chasing my tail every day without ever accomplishing anything besides the required daily “urgent” requirements. I hope that setting some specific long-term goals will help me move past the feeling that I am constantly treading water.
As a woman of faith, I truly seek to understand God’s will for my life. I don’t want to miss an opportunity because I am stuck in a rut or bogged down by daily obligations which could be streamlined and ordered in a more efficient manner if only I attended to the planning of them. My resolution for the new year is also my prayer: may I not be afraid to hope for better days, and may I make it a habit to steward my time wisely.
Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. Psalm 90:12