International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8. According to its website, the goal of the day is to focus on the achievement of women, raise awareness against bias, and to take action for equality. As International Women’s Day approaches, I find myself thinking about all the women who have been present during my life’s journey, and whose achievements enhanced my formation. There is no way to begin to list the name of every woman who invested in my life and helped form me into the woman I am today. First and foremost would be my mom, whose birthday happens to fall on International Women’s Day. My mom is one of the most nurturing, kind women that you could ever hope to meet. She is a wonderful homemaker and entertainer, and she has the ability to make everyone who enters her home feel welcomed and well-fed. She worked part-time while we were in school, but prioritized being home when my brother and I came home from school. She was waiting for us when we arrived home with a hug and a smile, and many times she had freshly baked treats waiting for us. No matter what kind of day we had experienced outside the haven of our home, we were assured that we were loved and valued within its four walls. She is the biggest reason that I chose to be a full-time stay-at-home mom when my own children were born. She has been my living guidebook for how to be a good mom. Her talents in the kitchen and her skills at food presentation are unmatched. In fact, many people tell her they would pay her to make their favorite appetizers for them to serve at parties, but she always tells them that if it became a job, she would not enjoy it anymore. She cooks for simple enjoyment and to share her gifts with others who can use a prepared meal, and never expects anything in return. She gives her time to her church and charities, and visits nursing home residents on a weekly basis. Her achievements in life have not been the kind that the world tends to celebrate, but they were the kind that raised two children into adults who seek to actively care for and nurture the people around them.
Three generations of strong women
Can we spend a moment discussing teachers? As a young child, the women you spend most of your day with are typically your teachers. There were so many female teachers in my elementary and middle school years, and I can still remember most of them. A few do stand out more than others for their kind words and patience displayed with all of us. I was drawn to the sweet ones who had a gentle nature, but it was later in life that I came to appreciate the ones who had a little less patience for mediocrity. They were the ones who had a keen intellect and recognized it in others and would not accept less from us than they knew we were capable of offering. They were the first to push me, and in turn it gave me a sense of confidence in my abilities. This confidence was a building block which I used to venture into the world. Again, these achievements are not always noticed or appreciated by our society which tends to value titles, material wealth and power.
Some lessons I learned from women were not scholastic in nature, but were no less significant. I had a mentor who helped me learn about a toxic friendship that, at the age of 16, I did not understand was toxic at the time…that was a very important lesson that I would benefit from for the rest of my life. I had a female boss who truly disliked me and made my workplace so uncomfortable that I chose to quit. I realized life is too short and not everyone is going to like you…also a good lesson. I worked for a woman who routinely threw paperclips and rubber balls at the glass partition, which sat between my desk and her office, in order to get my attention. I had to keep that job for financial reasons, but learned about treating others with respect, and learned how it feels when respect is absent. On a humorous note, I actually poured a glass of champagne in the car when my husband and I moved from the city where I held that position. On the flip side, I had a different female boss who taught me about the financial services industry, gave me grace when I made mistakes, and pushed me to become a licensed stock broker, which I accomplished. She celebrated my successes, and rewarded them financially and to this day, 25 years later, we are still friends.
I have also been shaped by my Godmothers, grandmothers, cousins, aunts, mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, nieces, daughters, as well as lots of friends. The numbers of women who influence us in life are innumerable. The value of an outward-focused, honest woman who genuinely cares for your well-being is immeasurable.
International Women’s Day can mean different things to different people. Obviously, there is much progress to be made internationally in the realm of women’s rights and dignity, and equal pay for equal work. I do not wish to discount the importance of those issues. I simply wish to highlight the potential importance and achievements of all women in our world, regardless of education level, social status, or professional experience. We should acknowledge and be thankful for those women who devote their lives to mothering, teaching, nurturing and bolstering the next generation. We must appreciate the women who give their time to work in the church nursery, teach Sunday School, serve meals at the soup kitchen, volunteer behind the scenes at schools, and help mentor children in after school programs. I have two daughters, and I want them to strive to be the very best they can be. I want them to reach for the stars and hope for them to have careers they are passionate about and excel in. I am more concerned, however, about their community mindedness and want them to realize that they can make a difference in the world by making a difference in their little corner of it. In addition, if they choose to devote a portion of their lives to raising children and making a home, I want their choices to be respected, and acknowledged as valid and essential, just as we celebrate women who are CEO’s and politicians, and who hold other positions of power. Most likely, they would not be in the positions they hold without a strong woman behind them cheering them from the stands. On International Women’s Day, let us celebrate women of influence, and may we recognize that there are MANY types of influence worth celebrating!